just___chill

everything is so fucking fucked.






all of my paranoia has turned into wishful thinking.

just got back from new york.



i absolutely loved it, but it smelled really bad in a lot of places.

and there are always a million people everywhere, like allllll the time.


and cigarettes are like 7 dollars a pack.

just got back from new york.



i absolutely loved it, but it smelled really bad in some places.

and there are always a million people everywhere, like allllll the time.


and cigarettes are like 7 dollars a pack.

i'm so fucking happy.

i had the best fourth of july everrrrr.
i<3myboyfriend.


today is my birthday and i'm really hoping that i have a good day.



i woke up so early this morning so that i could savor every moment of my first day of being 18.

i wish jade would get up and enjoy it with me.


i can't wait to go home and get presents and eat cake.

clayton and i took samantha to hang out with her friend in inverness tonight.

we sat around and made her feel really awkward for a little bit, then decided to go watch the fireworks. i didn't know there was like this whole little festival thing going on, but it was fucking lame. and i walked in the rain, through grass, and mud in flip flops to get there... just to get a shitty lemonade, stand around with a bunch of ugly people, and leave.
they were shooting off these really weak ass fireworks, so i thought that was it, but on the walk back to coach's the real ones started going off so we stood there for a few minutes and watched. but fireworks get boring. so we went and sat and watched samantha play pool with her friends, then left.


i wonder if i'll ever be able to quit smoking.
thinking about this makes me want one.


so, since it's like... late o'clock... happy 4th of july.

ok, bye.

ps. i<3the appleseed cast. it reminds me of when i was younger. :[

so i'm going to be 18 in less than a week.
i'm really not sure how i feel about that.
there's a lot on my plate right now, but i'm not doing anything about it. i'm just sitting still.
i don't want to worry about anything right now. i feel like all i've done is worry and work for the last 2 or 3 years.
it took everything i had to finish high school on time.
not that my grades were bad or anything... but in the past couple of years, i've made it a lot harder than it should have been. i'm just glad it's over.

i want to start school. i just don't know what i want to do... i want to get my own place, i just don't want to pay billz. :(
who knew life could be so complicated?
where do i even want to live!? do i want to stay in florida?
do i want to go back to atlanta? god. i seriously can't fucking stand making decisions. especially drastic life changing decisions. haha.
whatever.
i just want to get a job and make money right now. which is hopefully happening next week. one good thing about turning 18.

i'm also content with having very few friends. especially around here. i've never met so many close minded, redneck, terribly uncultered people in my entire life. i hate to say this, but i almost cannot even stand my bestfriend. i've graduated, i'm out of high school. when i graduated i didn't plan on bringing HIGH SCHOOL drama bullshit along with me. i'm not that kind of person, at all. i never have been. and she literally thrives on it. i don't like fighting with people, i don't like arguing and being mad, or having people mad at me. i just want to live my life. i like being happy and smiling and having fun. and doing things i actually enjoy doing. not being drug along and doing things to just to make other people happy or because i don't have anything else to do. i'm done with that. i'm done with being put in uncomfortable situations to do my friends favors. if they were my friends, they wouldn't put me in those situations in the first place. so i'm over that. seriously. i don't know what i'd do if i hadn't found clayton. i don't know if he understands how much i appreciate him as a friend, but he's seriously one of the most amazing boys i have ever met. <3u.

but anyway, samantha, casey, sara and i went to see the working title last night. it was so fun. it was cute to see samantha so excited. :) that was the most fun i've had in a while. we were just missing one little thing, starts with a c & ends in layton.
[i miss you so much, btw]

ok. so i'm done with this.



( _____ )

hey boy that banjo sounds like a piano.



i graduated may 18th, that was real coool.

liked some jesus freak for a while. weird and SO not me.

im on vaca in ga, having si much fun despite the fact that i might DiEieieieee cause im so fucking sick.


i dont know what else to say.



i wanna come home cause i miss you.

yeah ok so like... a little over a month until i graduate highschool and i'm done with it foreveveveeveverrr and everver.

yayay. i love it i love it i love it.

AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. me and erin looked at our blurty's from 7th grade last night.

oh my god. you have no idea how embarrassed i am... like i don't even remember that i was THAT gay.


hahahahaha i filled out a survey and this is what i answered to something.
seriously, i think i had only been to a couple of shows, and definately never... 'moshed' before. holy shit, i'm so embarrassed.

[58]Favorite Dance: does moshing count?

boys are suuuuuch a drag.



internet sucks, as always.


get off your lazy assses.

everyoneis a faaaggggoyoyooyoyototott...



and by everyone i only mean like 3 people. actually 2. you both are gay. gayagagagayagay.

well i haven't been doing shit for the past few days. i've been in a really bad mood.




i hate finger nail files... i'm warning everyone right now. sorry i freaked out on you jenn, i love you.



um, i'm about to be a millionaire since my neck is basically fucked. if i can find some way to get the xray on here i will cause it's craaaaaaaazy. i'm so excited. i'm gonna be a rich biiiiitttccchhh. hopefully. probably. i go see the lawyer in the morning.



well, i don't know what else to say.



i really hope we don't get bombed anytime soon, cause i have been having crazy ass dreams about that shit recently. i mean, i know the worlds not going to end until 2012, but can't i just have until then?


fuck the god damn internet. seriously. i hate you but i love you.

i forgot that i'm supposed to quit smoking on my birthday, which is wednesday...


yeah no, fuck that.

( i'm ugly. )


ashley left me here bored.

i shouldn't have done that today.











god dammit.

everyone is seriously out of their fucking minds.

today was my first day at CVS. I LOVE IT!

i'm going to be a registered pharmacy and photo lab technician.


NERD TOWN USAAAA. POPULATION: MEEE!

i'm working full time so i'm going to be making sooo much money too.

and i'm pretty sure i work with a lot of weirdo's. my boss definately pinched my arm today and called me 'silly girl'. it doesn't sound that bad but if you've seen him, him doing that is EXTREMELY strange.


i miss my man. come home baby.